It's almost June the 1st and this blog is out of order 'cuz I just found the document hiding in a pile of papers I have had in my locker since early May. I was cleaning and purging and found information which was written the day I arrived here at Camp Monroe, about a month ago. Truth be told, I do not remember writing these words; however, after re-reading 'em, I do remember 'moving day' with a bit of a cringe...very MOVING! My Editor reminded me a few weeks ago that I might be adverse to moving because I was moved at o'dark thirty...approximately 16 times as a little boy. The adults charged with protecting me would crash into my bedroom at the darkest time of the morning and tell me to pick two or three of my favorite toys 'cuz "we're moving." Actually they were usually running from the landlord...or some unpaid bill somewhere? Now that I think of it, one would assume that being rousted at 4:00 AM wouldn't cause such a spike in adrenaline and activate my amygdala (fight or flight) with such a vengeance yet...what can I say? BOTTOM LINE... I still really don't like moving. However, rest assured I will happily and gleefully move away from Camp Monroe - soon :-). AND NOW, after that intro...here's the blog from the past that was found in my post...for your perusal: Monday, 7 PM Monroe, WA What a day!! I did not sleep a wink...Sunday evening to early Monday morning!
We were 'roused at 4:15 AM and taken to the "processing center"...another building, another room. It was about a ten minute walk...in the pitch black of the sky all around us. We were given a "boat breakfast"...a plastic container shaped like a boat with a pbj and some cereal in it. I did manage to eat a PBJ...not knowing what and how and when this would all "end"!? We were stripped and had all "cavities" (do not think dental!) searched...then given new orange jumpsuits...most about three sizes too big for the body that it was designed to cover! When the ankle and wrist cuffs came out, I had a reaction. I remembered both the physical and emotional pain of every moment when I have been forced ito wear such manicals. It's degrading and inhumane. I wish I could describe how we looked walking to the bus...no, we were shuffling to the bus with a fourteen-inch chain between our feet, anchored to each ankle by the cuffs. Add to that image, the fact that our wrists were cuffed and tethered to our waist by yet another chain. We all looked small and bent over, like someone let the air out and deflated us. We were men in pain, physical and emotional...on some, the cuffs bit into the skin causing droplets of blood around them. We were headed to a MINIMUM SECURITY UNIT...we were not even the REALLY BAAAAD GUYS!! Yet even the "buff jocks"...the twenty-year-olds...looked like dogs that had been abused. No wonder people kill themselves in prison...and develop a stronger hatred for all things "official"! The bus pulled out of Shelton about two hours later at 6:30 AM and we arrived at Monroe about 9:00 AM. The windows of the bus were blacked out so that we had no idea how the world around us looked...we simply sat with eyes downcast...perhaps exactly what was supposed to happen to us, after all...we are criminals first, humans second. The building in which we were to live was called a dorm...yet more closely resembles a barrack from my old Army days. We were given bunk assignments and a duffle bag with three changes of clothing. I remembered Allen (the Asian man who had been at King County jail for an entire year!) looking forward to "new" jeans and a hoodie...amazing, eh?? BTW, Allen did not end up here at Monroe so who knows what clothing he is wearing? I got a lower bunk in a cubicle with two other men(think Microsoft in the early days...dividers not quite creating walls, simply separating humans!). The "dorm" has forty men...all races living together, all ages too tho' most are younger...maybe 20-35 years on the planet. The atmosphere is guardedly "neutral" though there are angry men here. Most of the testy ones have gang tats (tattoos, according to Webster!) and most of them are Latino...based on my awareness of language and conversations. They walk around with scowls on their faces...who knows, perhaps a protective facade?? We had a VERY brief moment with a nurse...blood pressure...check! Oxygen...check! Temperature...check! Fog a mirror?? CHECK!! I broke down and cried...just a little. Observation tells me doctors and nurses in this system remember little of the ol' Hippo Oath!! Lunch was scratched since they only served meat yet by dinner I was officially vegan again...AND they let me bring an extra PBJ back to my bunk for a snack later!! I am now in Monroe Minimum Security Unit! How can it get any better than this?? I'm holding on for good good good good vibrations....trust you are doing that too...out there...in the REAL WORLD!
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Took a few fotos of the 100 year old "estate" which Patrick mentions in the following post...thought I'd share...it is SPECTACULAR! Cedars with trunks the size of a coffee table...and "the big house" is like a structure from Washington, DC...not certain about the architect...no windows and only the SERIOUS offenders inside. Patrick is in a tiny "compound", looking very much like a military base...with a handcrafted sign that reads MSU (not Michigan State University...Minimum Security Unit!) One more thing...if you want to connect with Patrick via email, the website iswww. Jpay.com. He will "invite" you and the mail MAY GO TO YOUR SPAN ACCOUNT...so check that account, eh?!! Also you need his DOC number, which is 381195 and you will need to list a debit/credit card to "buy" stamps...you get 60 stamps for $10 so it's better than snail mail if you are comfortable with computers!! NO DOUBT he is very happy to be back in the cyber kingdom!!
I walked into a Claude Monet painting today (with thanx to RADSENIOR!). It didn't hurt too much - Ha! Actually, I was meditating at the edge of acres of lawn (surrounded by razor wire, of course)...just feeling appreciative. The landscapes at Camp Monroe are sometimes emotionally stirring! This Spring morning the manicured gardens are off-set and framed by the regal snow-capped Cascade Mountain range in the distance. Nature comforts us...if we see! There are yellow and white wild flowers and purple lillies or are they irises popping up all over the estate. It's breathtaking. .. I sat at the fringe of the luscious field, squinted my eyes and saw Monet's "Lillies" painting (1) & (2). I got up and walked across the grounds pretending I was approaching Monet at his outdoor plein-air canvas. I felt like a fifth member in his "Women in a Garden" painting or perhaps the flower-sniffing clown??! Ohhhh the things one can do to amuse oneself :-) What are you doing today??
No news about a job yet. My counselor is waiting for my university transcripts to get here. Then I can go to work in the classroom helping others. Victor Frankl in Mans Search for Meaning talks about how work...meaningful work... can lead to a full-filling life. When I am without meaningful work, I am like that sailboat...without a rudder. It's depressing, so in the meantime I turn to Nature for solace. I find comfort observing a small thin blade of grass or walking in the shadow cast by Mt. Baker ... and of course I'm excited to get back to work. DISPATCHES FROM CAMP MONROE: Well, it took me a couple days to get used to the "flow" of Monroe. We all go to breakfast at 6:10 AM then most return to their pillow-lined vortex. Me? I start my day with a 2 mile walk/jog early... while the dormitory sleeps and Planet Earth awakes! I end the day with another 2 mile walk...watching the sun drop over the horizon. Therapy...as Thoreau knew! We have about 3 to 4 acres of luscious green grass around which is a crushed rock track. The air is heavy with that fresh mowed grass fragrance (almost as intoxicating as bacon :)). The field is covered with English daisies and pretty yellow buttercups ... or maybe they're dandelions but pretty none-the-less. My foot falls on the gravel, I think it is pea-gravel...whatever...sounds like someone eating Special K cereal - makes me hungry - ha! As my attention turns to the ten foot fence that borders the track, I notice at the top is a spool of razor wire about 200 yards long. As the sun reflects off the metal it looks like a piece of art, really! Kinda like a mobile by Alexander Calder or some of Frank Gehry's architecture...glaring/gazing back at me?!? I stumble 'cuz I'm distracted by the beauty of the "fence-art" so I refocus on the track. But my mind sees the spools as something else... what? Then out of the blue I see it. It looks like a very long Slinkie...or were those called Slinky. It is a piece of art...obviously! And now...a toy memory! I flash back to age 7 or 8 in California. I had a Slinkie/Slinky. We were living with my mother's second husband, my birth certificate dad yet not my bio-dad. I know...it's complicated. Anyway I remember playing with Slinkie/Slinky on the steps inside our home in Santa Cruz. I think I can remember giggling. Maybe I'm making that part up but it's possible. Where did all the innocence go? Fast fwd to Monroe and how this huge barrier to freedom brings me to my childhood...our minds are amazing, eh?? More good news?!@# Whoever said higher education pays dividends knew what s/he was talking about. This morning my counselor told me I qualify to work in the laundry, kitchen or picking up garbage in the yard. Then she noticed I had an undergraduate as well as graduate degrees. She then said "let's get you in the classroom as a TA or tutor or even a teacher." Yippie - Skippie...blessings be mine! Well that's it for now. It time for my vegan lunch...the way to lose weight? BEcome vegan...30 pounds gone!! Editor's update!New post address for THE MAN is: Patrick M. Leonard DOC 381195, B-310-L PO Box 7001 Monroe, WA 98272 AND IF YOU'RE CLOSE-BY AND WANNA VISIT...PML has yet to have a human package arrive for chatting! Here are the hours for May..they change each month...we think?? Friday the 8th, Sunday the 10th and Monday the 11th - 1:00 to 3:30 and 6:00 to 8:00. Friday the 15th, Saturday the 16th and Monday the 18th - 1:00 to 3:30 and 6:00 to 8:00. Friday the 22, Sunday the 24th :-) and Monday the 25th - 1:00 to 3:30 and 6:00 to 8:00. Friday the 29th, Saturday the 30th and Monday June 1st - 1:00 to 3:30 and 6:00 to 8:00. It's June the 1st and this blog is out of order 'cuz I just found it hiding in a pile of papers I've got in my locker. I was cleaning and purging and found this that was written the day I arrived here at Camp Monroe, about a month ago. Truth be told, I do not remember writing these words. However after re-reading 'em, I do remember 'moving day' with a bit of a cringe.
Kris reminded me a few weeks ago that I might be so adverse to moving due to how I was moved at o'dark thirty 16+ times as a little boy. The adults charged with protecting me would crash into my bedroom at the darkest time of the morning and tell me to pick 2 or 3 of my favorite toys 'cuz "we're moving." Actually they were usually running from the landlord. Now that I'm aware of that, one would think being roused at 4:00am wouldn't cause such a spike in adrenalyn (sp) and ativate my amygdala (fight or flight) response. Well, I still really don't like moving. However, rest assured I will happily and gleefully move away from Camp Monroe - soon :-). Cold northwest morning
Spring chasing away winter Daffodils rejoyce! That's all I can offer right now. Isolation symptoms I suppose. No books. No visitors. No conversation. If you want to write, I would greatly appreciate it. Patrick Michael Leonard DOC #381195 Unit R4 Cell F9 Washington Corrections Center PO Box 900 Shelton, WA 98584 Be certain you put your entire name and address in the return address corner. Don't send anything but a letter or a card. There are rules you know?!@# Editorial Comment:
The words in this "header" were spoken by Patrick Michael Leonard after a "hearing" that ended with him being sent to a "clearing house" of sorts (they sort thru a population of men and decide who is the worst and who is the least offensive of the "offenders"). It's located outside a small dying town in the old timber territory of Washington state. He is surrounded by some pretty heavy hitters (also heavy energy!)and he asked that I write something here to let you all know he is a survivor...and he has ideas in his head for blogging! No supplies for writing them down after two weeks...no one to talk with either...asking questions is verboten?!@# The accommodations are very bare...I would say bleak... yet he is planning his future. He is "minding his own business", as he was advised by "friends in high places"...AND, as luck would have it, he is "channeling Tim Robbins in his role as Andy in The Shawshank Redemption" (direct quote cuz I chuckled when he spoke those words to me via fon!). Tim played a banker, innocent yet PROVEN guilty and sent off to prison...a VERY HARSH PRISON...long ago. Parallels exist...for certain, eh? If you did not see that film, rent it...about 1994 or so?! BOTTOM LINE, Patrick has had five "tax consultations in the yard" since he arrived at "the JOINT" (literally, I heard two Corrections Officers at KCCF use this moniker to describe "the facility" in which Patrick is located!!) OHH and irony of ironies, the only publications on the list of "appropriate mail" during this time are FROM THE IRS!! Yep, you got it...Patrick actually requested some IRS Pubs for his late night reading pleasure. Don't get me wrong I know this is a prison...as the woman in the mail room told me...THEY HAVE A LIBRARY, he doesn't need any crosswords! (She has been employed there for 30 years...mmmm.) The Old Testament is available...and there is a library yet books are very old...and somehow...missing pages!?@# One might say...this entire play is MIND BLOWING!! Through my "slit window", I'm watching today end. The sky to the southwest is cotton candy pink. Rainier is slowly pulling up her blanket of darkness ready for sleep. I see a lenticular cloud playfully floating near the summit...it looks like that nightcap illustrated in A Night Before Christmas...sweet dreams, my friend. As time marches on... "The tank" has changed composition...yet AGAIN! Now that my friend Allen is gone, I'm the "old man" - old in age and old in terms of "time in the tank"! There are youngsters in here today...twenty-somethings...mostly DUI charges. I notice it's getting easier and easier to isolate as days pass and friends continually leave, sometimes quickly, sometimes with a sense of expectation and farewells. Reading and writing and sleeping take up my 24 hours. Yesterday I was reading a book by John Lennon...just some of his poems, short stories and wacky doodles. One of the "youths" asked me what I was reading so I held up the book so he could see a photo of the Beatles troubadour along with his name. The young man asked me..."Who is John Lennon?" So is it true, you know you're getting old when the Fab Four have become obscure - HA!! Reading The Circle of Fire continues to comfort me. Thank you again to the person who sent it as a gift! It's become a treasure so do let me know who gifted it...please? I've gone through it a couple of times and I read the prayer several times a day. With few exceptions, each chapter seems to be talking directly to me. Today, as I re-read the part on humanity, I noticed a sentence I must have skipped over before. It reads: Let's make our love strong, and let's send our love to our homes, to whomever lives with us. Guess that would be my "tank-mates", my tribe! I find myself judging them most of the time. Okay...I'll send 'em love today. Love is the answer...did I hear John singing?? Just read an article about the Pacific Crest Trail (PCT). It's in the news because of the movie, Wild. Excellent book by the way...read it when I was free and wandering the earth. Now I'm wondering if I could hike the piece of that trail from Snoqualmie Pass north to Mt. Baker. I would love to spend several days backpacking and nights sleeping under a darkened sky sprinkled with a dusting of stars.
Don Miguel Ruiz teaches that I was born a great magician, and with the gift of magic, I can create my personal story...my dream of life! So YES, I can hike The Pacific Crest Trail! That's what i choose... Another famous woman (not necessarily a hiker, I don't think?!) once wrote: You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do. Dya' know her name??? I'll tell y'all next time...that's it for today!! Just a short blog for all witches and warlocks out there on this Friday, the 13th... A GREAT BIG HARDY THANK YOU to whomever sent me The Circle of Fire by Don Miguel Ruiz. I will start saying the prayer tonite. Here it is for anyone else interested: Today The day of the Lord When the Divinity returns to me When living my free will And with all the power of my spirit I decide to live my life In free communion with God With no exceptions. I will live my life with gratitude, Love, loyalty and justice. Beginning with myself And continuing with my brothers and sisters. I will respect all creation As the symbol of my love communion With the one who created me To the eternal happiness of humanity. I find this prayer to be powerful - AGAIN, THANK YOU...you know who you are !! Please add a comment or drop a line to the blog and let me know to whom I owe this basket full of gratitude. As for my daze...
I continue to wake before dawn to enjoy the peace and quiet and to witness daybreak. Today, the first shafts of buttery sunlight bathed the mountain Rainier, gently waking her. I hope some day soon the sun will gift me with her healing warmth. I'm coming up on four months with no fresh air in these lungs and no sun on my face. Imagine that! I'm getting ready for my "sentencing hearing" on March 6th. I have several letters about my good character being written (again I hope you know the gratitude flowing in your direction, dear friends!) and mailed to my lawyer; and perhaps a few will show up in person. I am filling that hearing-room with angels along with Archangels Michael and Gabriel. The room is full of light and compassion and happiness...something I seldom see in these hallways. Oh, and I've invited in PBSE ... Positive Black Swan Energy (check out The Impact of the Highly Improbable by Taleb). As Richard Feynman once wrote... “In order to make progress, one must leave the door to the unknown ajar ...” At this time, I ask that each of you suspend your belief in the news media and the reports you may hear about my case. All that you see and hear is not true...some is but NOT ALL. Remember, a synonym for "news" is "story". The media tells STORIES to entertain...and sometimes that entertainment affects human lives. My life has been affected. Once I have been sentenced, I will tell you my side! Is it not true, my angel of life That walking hand in hand into the dream of life Every step is blessed by God? THAT'S ALL THE NEWS THAT'S FIT FOR NOW... |
AuthorPatrick Michael Leonard Archives
August 2020
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